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Basic Toilet Humor

Restroom comedy has always been the comfort zone of your Daily, and writers stay alert to significant toilet tales and historic moments, notably connected to soccer. What a delight it was to learn that Big Website columnist a well-known presenter possesses a urinal decorated with West Brom motifs in his house. Spare a thought regarding the Barnsley supporter who understood the bathroom somewhat too seriously, and was rescued from an empty Oakwell stadium post-napping in the lavatory at half-time during a 2015 defeat versus the Cod Army. “He was barefoot and couldn't find his phone and his hat,” elaborated a representative from Barnsley fire services. And who can forget when, at the height of his fame at Manchester City, the controversial forward visited a nearby college for toilet purposes in 2012. “He left his Bentley parked outside, before entering and requesting directions to the restrooms, afterward he visited the teachers' lounge,” a pupil informed local Manchester media. “Later he simply strolled through the school as if he owned it.”

The Toilet Resignation

Tuesday represents 25 years since Kevin Keegan stepped down from the England national team post a quick discussion within a restroom stall with FA director David Davies in the bowels of Wembley, subsequent to the memorable 1-0 setback versus Germany during 2000 – the national team's concluding fixture at the legendary venue. As Davies recalls in his journal, FA Confidential, he stepped into the wet struggling national team changing area immediately after the match, only to find David Beckham in tears and Tony Adams energized, both players begging for the director to convince Keegan. Subsequent to Hamann's direct free-kick, Keegan had trudged down the tunnel with a distant gaze, and Davies located him seated – reminiscent of his 1996 Liverpool behavior – in the dressing room corner, muttering: “I'm leaving. This isn't for me.” Stopping Keegan, Davies attempted urgently to rescue the scenario.

“Where on earth could we find for confidential discussion?” stated Davies. “The passageway? Swarming with media. The dressing room? Heaving with emotional players. The bath area? I couldn’t hold a vital conversation with an England manager as players dived into the water. Only one option presented itself. The toilet cubicles. A significant event in English football's extensive history happened in the old toilets of an arena marked for removal. The impending destruction could almost be smelled in the air. Dragging Kevin into a cubicle, I shut the door behind us. We remained standing, looking at each other. ‘You cannot persuade me,’ Kevin stated. ‘I’m out of here. I’m not up to it. I’m going out to the press to tell them I’m not up to it. I can’t motivate the players. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Aftermath

And so, Keegan resigned, later admitting that he had found his period as Three Lions boss “empty”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I had difficulty passing the hours. I found myself going and training the blind team, the hearing-impaired team, supporting the female team. It's a tremendously tough role.” English football has come a long way in the quarter of a century since. Regardless of improvement or decline, those Wembley restrooms and those twin towers are long gone, although a German now works in the coaching zone Keegan formerly inhabited. Thomas Tuchel’s side are among the favourites for next year’s Geopolitics World Cup: England fans, don’t take this era for granted. This particular anniversary from one of the Three Lions’ darkest days serves as a recall that situations weren't always this good.

Current Reports

Follow Luke McLaughlin at 8pm UK time for women's football cup news from Arsenal 2-1 OL Lyonnes.

Daily Quotation

“We remained in an extended queue, wearing only our undergarments. We represented Europe's top officials, premier athletes, inspirations, mature people, mothers and fathers, resilient characters with great integrity … but no one said anything. We barely looked at each other, our gazes flickered a bit nervously as we were summoned forward in pairs. There Collina inspected us completely with a chilly look. Silent and observant” – previous global referee Jonas Eriksson shares the degrading procedures match officials were formerly exposed to by former Uefa head of referees Pierluigi Collina.

Daily Football Correspondence

“How important is a name? A Dr Seuss verse exists named ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, plus assistants Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been removed from their positions. So is that the end of the club’s Steve obsession? Not completely! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie continue to oversee the primary team. Full Steve ahead!” – John Myles.

“Now you have loosened the purse strings and awarded some merch, I've chosen to type and offer a concise remark. Postecoglou mentions he initiated altercations on the school grounds with children he knew would beat him up. This masochistic tendency must account for his decision to join Nottingham Forest. As a lifelong Spurs supporter I will always be grateful for the second-season trophy yet the only follow-up season honor I predict him achieving near the Trent River, if he remains that duration, is the Championship and that would be some struggle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|